From the album ‘(Live)‘ (1976).
- Derek:
- I’ll tell you, the other day some bloke came up to me and…
- Clive:
- What, Tony Newley?
- Derek:
- No, no, I don’t know who it was, and he said, "You cunt".
- Clive:
- Yeah.
- Derek:
- I said, "What?" He said, "You cunt".
- Clive:
- Yeah. And you replied, "You fucking cunt".
- Derek:
- I said-, I-, no, well, not straight away, I said, "You cunt".
- Clive:
- Yeah, yeah, yeah…
- Derek:
- And then he said…
- Clive:
- … what’d he come back with?
- Derek:
- He come back. He says-, he said, "You fucking cunt". I said, "You calling me… "
- Clive:
- You’re joking! He said, "You fucking cunt"?
- Derek:
- He-, yeah, he said, "You call me a cunt, you fucking c-?" I said, "You f-", I said, "You fucking cunt".
- Clive:
- I should hope so, "you fucking cunt".
- Derek:
- I s-, I said, "You fucking cunt", I said, "You fucking come here and call me a fucking cunt".
- Clive:
- I should say so.
- Derek:
- I said, "You f-", I said, "You cunt". I said, "You fucking cunt". I said, "Who you fucking calling ‘cunt’, cunt?"
- Clive:
- Yeah, what did he say, cunt?
- Derek:
- He said, "You fucking cunt!"
- Clive:
- Well, you fucking cunt, who are you to say to him that he was a fucking cunt?
- Derek:
- Well, what d’you fu-, what d’you fucking think, mate, I fucking de-, defending my fucking self, weren’t I?
- Clive:
- Well, no, he come up to you, call you "cunt"…
- Derek:
- Yeah!
- Clive:
- … that’s fair enough, what he said, "you fucking cunt", and you said back to him, "you fucking fucking cunt".
- Derek:
- I sa-, well…
- Clive:
- Well, what do you expect him to say back apart from, "You fucking stupid fucking cunt!"
- Derek:
- Well, I don’t-, I don’t expect nothing, do I?
- Clive:
- No.
- Derek:
- But the f-, the cunt come back with, "you fucking cunt", cunt.
- Clive:
- Well, Christ…
- Derek:
- I said, "You cunt?" I said, "You calling me a fucking cunt…
- Clive:
- Yeah.
- Derek:
- … You fucking-", I said, "You fucking cunt".
- Clive:
- Jesus Christ, yeah.
- Derek:
- I said, "You-", I said, "You, you fucking cunt".
- Clive:
- Yeah, what-
- Derek:
- I said, like that.
- Clive:
- You said it like that, did you…
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- … to him…
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- … or was he gone by then?
- Derek:
- No, he fucking hit me. Fu-
- Clive:
- Hit you, did he?
- Derek:
- Yeah, fucking cunt.
- Clive:
- Killed you dead, did he?
- Derek:
- Nah, he-, he fucking hit me. I said, I said…
- Clive:
- Yeah, well, you can’t blame him, can you?
- Derek:
- I said, "You, you rotter".
- Clive:
- Yeah.
- Derek:
- And he-, he went off.
- Clive:
- Did he?
- Derek:
- And he said, "You cunt" again.
- Clive:
- Well, ‘t’s the only way to deal with him, ‘init?
- Derek:
- Yeah, well, I-, I showed him, didn’t I?
- Clive:
- Yeah, well, you had to, didn’t you? You had to stand up for what you stood for, didn’t you? I mean, the only time I remember a similar occasion was, I was in, errm, I was at Spurs, Tottenham Hotspurs.
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- I was watching a game against Arsenal, and this bloke come up to me and said, "Hello".
- Derek:
- Oh no…
- Clive:
- And I thought, "Christ!"
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- You know, this bloke comes up to me, says "hello"…
- Derek:
- Provocative fucker.
- Clive:
- … fucking provocative.
- Derek:
- Mmm.
- Clive:
- I said, "What d’you mean, ‘hello’?" And, do you know what he came back with?
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- He said, erm, "I just meant, ‘hello’" I said, "Hur hur, I can sussed you out…
- Derek:
- Yeah, right.
- Clive:
- … right, for a starter…
- Derek:
- Yeah, right.
- Clive:
- … ‘ere, get this in the bollocks for a start!" So I kicked him right in the balls, he fell to the floor, and as he fell to the floor he said, "Euuughh!" I said, "Don’t you ‘Euuughh’ me, mate!"
- Derek:
- I-, yeah, like he comes in with ‘hello’ and then goes out with ‘euuughh’.
- Clive:
- Yeah, I said, "Don’t you ‘Euuughh’ me, mate!" and I kicked his fucking teeth in!
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- Then he went, "Aaaghh!", and I said, "Fucking hell!…
- Derek:
- I said, "This is fucking too much", eh?
- Clive:
- … Don’t you fucking ‘Aaaghh’ me!"
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- And I really kicked his ear in, you know.
- Derek:
- Yeah, yeah.
- Clive:
- Bunged him right in the ear with the left boot.
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- And, d’you know he still had the audacity to come out with, "Hugh-eugh-ugh-eugh-ugh I’m dying!" Well, what could I say to that? I just walked away. I left the situation. I wasn’t going to be, you know, put upon in that way.
- Derek:
- You weren’t going to be dictacted to, were you?
- Clive:
- Well, no, why should I be dictated to?
- Derek:
- No, exactly, no.
- Clive:
- By some cunt who says ‘euuughh!’
- Derek:
- Yeah, preceding it with ‘hello’!
- Clive:
- Yeah. ‘Hello’ was the worst thing, that’s what got me going.
- Derek:
- Fucking cunt, yeah, what a cunt.
- Clive:
- What a cunt, eh?
Derek and Clive 