From the album ‘Come Again‘ (1977).
- Derek:
- Yeah, he’s a good bloke, Norm.
- Clive:
- Norm! I, I saw him down, er, down the pub the other day and he was-, you know Norman’s normally sort of very ch- chipper, you know…
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- … very perky…
- Derek:
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Clive:
- … and, er, he looked a bit down.
- Derek:
- Really?
- Clive:
- So I said, you know, not friendly like, I said, er, "What’s wrong Norm?"
- Derek:
- Yeah-h-h-h.
- Clive:
- And he said, er, "Nothing."
- Derek:
- Oh, right.
- Clive:
- Hunh! I said, "Now come on Norm, we’ve known each other for years…
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- … you can’t say there’s nothing wrong." He said, "All right, I’ll tell you what happened. My whole body got infected with, er, carpets and, er, I’ve been turned into a fine-pile carpet by the doctors." I said, "Come on Norm, drink up, don’t be a cunt. Stupid fucking story about being a fucking carpet!" And then, you know, we had a few drinks…
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- … and I left…
- Derek:
- But, you see, he’s al-
- Clive:
- … and, and, yeah, yeah, when I left…
- Derek:
- He’s always let people walk all over him.
- Clive:
- … that’s, THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING SAID TO HIM! When I left, I was standing on his fucking head and he was still saying he’s a fucking carpet, I said…
- Derek:
- What a cunt.
- Clive:
- … "Norm, huh, own up or grow up or be something in this world…
- Derek:
- Yeah.
- Clive:
- … don’t be a carpet."
- Derek:
- Yeah, right.
- Clive:
- ’cause being a carpet gets you nowhere.
- Derek:
- Nowhere.
- Clive:
- Except at the Savoy, it gets you upstairs.
- Derek:
- Right, yeah, without having to register.
- Clive:
- Yeah.
- Derek:
- Yeah.
Derek and Clive 